What is the story of how you met your spouse?

That’s where it began. I took to the 5-star hotel. My best friend met her. We made out on the bed. We would meet the next, final day, before I left. We went to the market buying souvenirs. We said goodbye.

The house was huge, and empty. Her German Shepard, pat in circles in a small muddy yard. We went to the War Memorial, no idea why. She asked if I loved my girlfriend. I think so. She questioned “Then why are you here?” I didn’t know. Neither of us did. The conversation stopped. She liked to take control.

I got back to my girlfriend. Weeks later my family booked a farm house. We all stayed. Plenty of couples. We were going to bed, my girlfriend ask for my phone. To watch videos while in the bathroom. We got in bed, she was shaking. “Why do you have tinder on your phone?”. It was time to resign from McDonalds.

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I met Cathrine weeks or months after. Cheating on my girlfriend opened a can of worms. It felt easy. Fun. Why not. I clocked into our McDonalds apartment. My girlfriend and I booked a trip to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. I wasn’t interested. Poor girl.

The restaurant sucked. I got pathetic mushroom entree. She passed. She was from Iran. A student living with her sister. I’d never met a Persian. It fascinated me, the middle-east. I spoke about Australia, she smiled a lot. She had a gorgeous wide smile, with luscious lips puckered with red lipstick. It contrasted against dark brown hair, eyes and skin. Her hair in a fishtail. She only wore eyeliner. She was a natural beauty.

The Twin Towers sparkled in silver against the sun. There’s a bridge in the garden directly beneath them. We agreed to met on it. A spectacular view, romantic even. I arrived on time. Tardiness is my pet peeve. The sun hot, the clock in the tower struck 12 flat (12:30 I’m told). I turned from the railing to my right. A tiny dazzling beauty skipped right into my face, a wide excited smile grinning ear to ear. Hello

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Or just mad ❤️

We drank wine. Talked. It was natural. Like dolphins on a wave. She sat next to me, laid down and we kissed. We took into the bedroom. I fucked her. He had nice breast, long brown hair. Her bathroom was filthy. The sink caked with toothpaste. I was disgusted and left.

Black hair, red lipstick. Is my type. I prefer tan skin. They don’t match. This girl, was a perfect blend of everything. All the women I adored, mushed into one. My sister said she looked like my debutant partner from High School. This girl, her face felt familiar, yet was unique. I asked her plans, she had none.

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We had scandals. Mostly my promiscuous behaviour and bi-curiosity. We clashed, broke up, broke down. We separated and I moved to Canada. But I’m scrapping that and I return home to her in 18 days.

Her profile read “Just checking out hot guys”. We matched. I asked her if she’d found any yet. I was riding a high, the new country, the freedom. I was cheeky. One of the Asian girls asked to join a party, the other straight up asked for sex. I’m not in Australia.

I had a fantasies of older woman. I made up a bullshit story. Messaged her enquiring about company roles. She took the bait. It felt like reeling in a fish. She invited me over. I seized the opportunity. Took my girlfriend’s car and told her a lie. I’d never cheated in my life.

Hi everybody! I have been looking at posts on narcs and narc abuse on here and if has really helped me out a lot. I am currently struggling with my situation and need some advice/support. I met a narc last year, everything seemed to good to be true. Love bombing, always texting calling and taking me on dates. Everything changed when someone warned me about him out in public in front of him and who he is. This caused a conflict with us and the love bombing seized. he would tell me that everything is okay and i can come and talk. He would set a time limit on me and kick me out after that. he would then text me like everything was fine and we hung out again and after that he completely ghosted me for one week. He came back and texted me a week later laughing about the ghosting and acting like nothing had happened. he continued to text me ( not like in the beginning) make plans with me, then on the day of the plans he would just ghost me. One day he would act interested the next silence. i contacted him a month later and he acted like nothing happened. He was on a vacation and sent me a picture of another woman ( someone he allegedly met on the trip) to strike a reaction but i never gave him one. After the trip he came to my place and was extremely rude, accusing me of going on dates with a bunch of men. The next day he accused me of being an alcoholic and that he wanted nothing to do with me but said well maybe we can be "friends" then ghosted me i assumed at this point it was over and i would never hear from him again. He contacted me on the holiday a month later acting like everything was great. We ended up hanging out a month or so later and when we hung out it went well, i thought things were going in the right direction. after we hung out.. silence. I would try to text him and if he replied it would be very short then he just stopped replying. He ghosted me for almost three months. I thought he was done this time and of course he popped up again like nothing happened. At this point i was getting sick of if so i questioned him as to why he dissapeared and always does this. Of course he had some sob story about a injury and family member dying of cancer. I felt pity for him and he gave me an apology.. so i took him back stupidly. things seemed to be going smooth for a couple months, of course until his family member died and his injury got better he never contacted me and was distant. Menawhile, i was there for him during the difficult time for him. He lied to me about the funeral and never wanted to chat. I was chasing him and he would always claim nothing was wrong but when i said i thought he used me when he was down he could not handle it and would always tell me he didnt care and to go away. I would get so upset i would try texting him to work it out he would barelt respond and if he did he would not be nice about it. we did hang out a couple times after that, he would ignore me after. One day i was like hey i think you are seeing someone else, and i was like well ixam seeing someone so no problem if you are he said " buy bye good luck with your new guy stop contacting me" i was devastated and tried to get into contact with him for weeks then i just gave up and accepted it was over. He ended up contacting me a month later acting like everything was fine. He wanted to go out and have drinks i told him i would. He and i both seemed to have a great time. He ends up ignoring me again. I kept texting him trying to figure out what was wrong. He kept saying everything was fine and i said ok can we hang out again? He said maybe i was like why? He just kept saying maybe … our last conversation we had… i said what is wrong ? He said nothing is wrong everything is fine. I asked him why he keeps saying maybe. He said " maybe but i dont want to see you right now" i said why? He saix " im just not feeling it, if i wanted to date i would" i said why did you contact me less then a week ago wanting to go out? He said i didnt.. even though he did. So i said should i just move on or what? He said whatever you want to do. So i said that he was really confusing me and asked him if he had anything more to say before i move on? My messages were turning green so i panicked he blocked me and reacted irrationally. I said " omg did you block me? My messages are not going through. Even texted him on my work phone asking what was up. And called him twice ( please dont judge me i know it is pathetic i never was this type of girl before him) so he replied and said " Ok I'll block you now" then immedietly blocked me. He has never blocked me before since I have met him he will just ghost. Is this ths final discard aka " grand finale? Did i just push him too far? this has upset me so much its hard to even function.

We walked around the War Memorial. Pointed out the SAS troops she knew. He’s a dickhead, and him, him too. My boyfriend won’t touch you. I believed her, she was strong. We got ushered to a formal memorial with a trumpet playing to remember the fallen. We were high on cocaine. It was a bizarre experience. She reminded me years later.

Kuala Lumpur was boring by day 5. I met a nice Malaysian girl for dinner. It was uneventful. She was smitten. We booked a date that night. I flirted with the middle-eastern girl. She had 3 photos. They were grainy, unclear, mismatched. The Egyptian experience pushed me, we scheduled for 12 pm for lunch at KLCC, the twin towers.

We left the aquarium arm in arm. She applied her lipstick and kissed the aquarium ticket 💋 I still have it.

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The day I arrived in Australia. I called her on FaceTime. She told be she never expected me to call. We’d did that everyday for the next 5.5 years of our long-distance relationship.

“That’s okay, I have a boyfriend”

“I have a girlfriend”

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Stunned. She was on time. To the minute. A head shorter than me, that’s rare (I’m 5’5”). She spoke with a beautiful accent, like French, but more unique. She was gorgeous and enthusiastic. I was taken off guard like being tackled on a football match. I mixed my words. I can’t believe she was on time. She led the way. I checked out her butt in her jeans, it was nice. We walked through the garden to the restaurant.

I went to the party. Six people sitting on the floor. We took hits of a bottle. Everyone passed out except me. I took the girl home. She broke up with a white guy. In the morning I ran my fingers softly along her back, turned away. She shifted uncomfortably. I continued to her thighs. Waiting for resistance. I crept near her panties. She turned suddenly, grabbed my hand and rubbed it over her pussy. Her panties were soaked. I couldn’t leave her like that.

He was an SAS soldier.

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I forgot the girl waiting at KLCC.

It’s a wild and unconventional story. It’s been raw, hard and traumatic. We just don’t want to let go.

She lived in Canberra, 700km away. I rode my motorbike. I told everyone I was seeing a friend, my dad clicked. I arrived and she filled a trolley with alcohol and grabbed herself a bouquet. Later we got cocaine, hung out with the dealer. We slept together. She was always standoffish, until her panties came down.

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I met Catherine. We drove, she spilt her tea, we walked arm in arm. Her boyfriend was on deployment. Who knows where. She hated it. Terribly lonely. Her family in Melbourne, her in another city alone. I booked at room at the casino and fucked some more. She invited me to stay at her place for 3 days.

The relationship to my girlfriend, was like a shift at McDonald’s. Clock in, clock out. A dull floorboard. I chatted up a 50+ year old on Facebook, Rachel. A big company sales director. She posted a “Go Lions” comment under a Footy Show post. She was hot.

The Malaysia trip I paid. I invited my best friend. 5-star hotel, 7 days in Kuala Lumpur. We’d never been overseas. A friend showed us around. It got boring. I jumped on tinder and made some matches. Two Asian girls, another middle-eastern. I slept with an Egyptian before my ex-girlfriend. She was cool, she told magical stories of the desert, her large brown tits melted in my hands and her pussy a perfect match. I was happy to meet a middle-easterner.

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I discovered we’re “anxious-avoidant”. The time alone allowed me to reflect on myself and behaviours for the first time in my life. We both committed to therapy together.

We went to the KLCC aquarium. We felt a spark. It didn’t feel forced. Two completely different people exploring together. It was innocent and sweet. We sat at a viewing platform. Fish floated by slowly. Time seem to stand still. A class of kids came and went. We hardly noticed. We didn’t want to leave. She said my heart was beating fast. I was nervous. I told her you need you to kiss me to slow it down. She kissed me on the cheek.

She made it to Australia 🇦🇺

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We drove home at 2am. Everyone was concerned. She cried the whole 1.5 hours home. We tried to sleep. She was gone the next morning. Someone cheated on her before. Catherine was in the same bed the next night. It was bizarre, like it was her plan. Kicked the girlfriend of 1.5 years out of her house, pulled the sheets over and slept in her spot.

We reminisced as I wrote about that day in the aquarium.

We’re madly in love.

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I was having sex with a beautiful slim blonde El Salvadorian-Australian with a cute little butt. She was rough and took life by the horns. We met at bar. I was 24, she was 21. I was drunk, she played footsie under the table. Her name was Cathrine. We kissed at the tram stop.